Elves
by Shannon on Tuesday, 6 of February, 2007 at 6:16 am
If I was to give an award for the most annoying fantasy creature elves would win hands down. I know, you’re aghast, but I have my reasons. Firstly, The Lord of The Rings. Maybe it was just Orlando Bloom as Legolas, but that was when I first noticed my estimation of elves had dropped considerably from when I was a child.
For some reason the sight of Orlando Bloom sliding down the trunk of that giant elephant (a mumakil if I recall correctly, and god how pathetic is it that I know that) shooting arrows the whole way just made me roll my eyes. It’s never a good sign when I roll my eyes. Of course this wasn’t the only moment in the trilogy that I’d rolled my eyes at the way elves are presented, and this isn’t the only movie or book that brought on such feelings toward the pointy eared little know-it-alls.
I mean what’s not to dislike. They’re smarter, stronger, faster, live longer, and are more beautiful then mere humans. They can move through a forest undetected and drop down from trees surprising any other life form that has dared enter their domain. They’re wise, that in and of itself isn’t bad I like wise, but they’re smug about it and I hate smug. And my biggest beef of all; they think they stand on some kind of moral high ground that we mere mortals could not possibly hope to obtain. I despise the moral high ground, unless of course I am firmly planted on it. Then I lord the moral high ground over everyone. In all honesty though, this happens very rarely. To quote Trent Reznor; “My moral standing is lying down”. And yes, I’ve been waiting since the early nineties to get that quote in somewhere.
I know many writers have taken the elves outside of cliché, or sometimes they’ve feed into that cliché with interesting results. Such as Jacqueline Carey’s Banewrecker and Godslayer books, which is a retelling of Tolkien’s famous series but told from the perspective of the “bad guys”. She plays quite well off the old elf clichés weaving them into her world building, which–despite what some people have said–I found an interesting take on Tolkien’s world.
I guess part of me just wants to see that illusion of perfection broken. You know, I want to see an acne prone teenage elf, or an ugly elf, or an elf that has a terrible sense of direction and has no idea where to find sacred objects or lost knowledge. A clueless elf, that’d be a refreshing change.
Category: Geek Rants, Books, Movies
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Pingback by SciFiJedi.com » Summer Movie Preview–from Pirates to Wizards
Made Saturday, 5 of May , 2007 at 11:07 am
[…] Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Johnny Depp channeling his inner Keith Richards (who will play Captain Teague) complete with more eyeliner then a Vegas brothel, I am so there. I have to admit, I’ve been a Depp fan for years, nappy dreads or not. And While Mister Bloom grates on my nerves (it’s not his fault, it’s the whole Elf thing) I still can’t wait for this one. Out: May 25th […]
