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The other day I picked up the newest Entertainment Weekly Normally I don’t read this magazine. I like the Stephen King essay in the back and some of the book reviews, but sometimes it’s so shallow I couldn’t get my big toe wet in the puddle that is their gene pool, but they got me with a Spiderman III picture. And the promise of the scoop on 115 summer movies.

It’s hard to believe it’s that time of year again, a geeks favorite time of year. Not only because we can break out our sandals and white sock ensemble for another year, but the movies, oh the glorious, action packed, butt-kicking, web-slinging movies.

So, here’s the ones I’m looking forward to the most. In no particular order, as my brain doesn’t work that way.

• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Okay, I have a few issues with the books, and the last two movies were lacking in the story line a bit, but visually these movies are always stunning, and watching these kids grow up is so cute I might slip into a diabetic coma. Out: July 13th
• Spiderman III: What’s not to love? Three bad guys, a black spidey suit, possibly another woman, and Tobey Maguire going all dark and angsty. I love dark and angsty. Out: May 4th
• Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Johnny Depp channeling his inner Keith Richards (who will play Captain Teague) complete with more eyeliner then a Vegas brothel, I am so there. I have to admit, I’ve been a Depp fan for years, nappy dreads or not. And While Mister Bloom grates on my nerves (it’s not his fault, it’s the whole Elf thing) I still can’t wait for this one. Out: May 25th
• The Simpsons Movie. They’re yellow, they poke fun at religion, society, Hollywood, and TV. They’re animated deviants after my own heart. Out: July 27th
• I Know Who Killed Me. I have no idea what this movie is really about. But the title coupled with the fact that it’s starring Lindsey Lohan, well that does it all for me. If Lohan dies the gruesome horrible death promised that’s worth the price of admission for me. Out: July 27th
• 1408 This one, based on a short Stephen King story, looks promising. If a bit experimental. It’s about a hotel room that becomes the occupants own personal hell. Mine would include Paula Abdul, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Elves, and certain relatives that will remain nameless (you know who you are and I want my CDs back).
• Stardust: Anyone who knows me knows I’m a Gaimen fan, hell anyone who’s given this blog more then a cursory glance can see that. I’d sell my soul for an hour to pick his brain, too bad I all ready sold it for chocolate and a good cup of coffee. Oh well, my mom always told me I should have higher standards and I never believed her. At any rate, this movie has been compared to another of my favorites; The Princess Bride, but with an edge. I know the book and graphic novel are awesome as I’ve read both and they do indeed have a lot in common with the Princess Bride . And from what I’ve seen in the trailers, it looks like they’ve added quite a bit to the story line while staying as true to the book as possible. And with stars like De Niro, Clarie Danes, and Michelle Pfeiffer I’m hoping this is everything the book was and more.
• Shrek III: I just have to see this out of some perverse sense of loyalty. And cause I’m hoping Justin Timberlake dies. Sorry Jusitn, you’re not as annoying as Lindsay Lohan I’ll give you that, but that’s all I’m giving you.

Okay, those cover all the bigger movies I’m really dying to see. There are a few that I know I’m going to end up watching eventually but that I won’t be sure of until after I see them. Transformers would fall into this category, to be honest I laughed out loud when a friend told me how excited he was they were making this movie. It just sounded preposterous. It still kind of does, but after looking at the trailers I realized I’d have to see it for myself. There is also The Bourne Ultimatum, The Invasion, Evan Almighty, Pathfinder, and Disturbia on my list of maybes. As in maybe I’ll watch it, maybe I’ll avoid it.

Oh and on a side note. I know Tony is really looking forward to the movie Sunshine. He’s all revved up to see the great special effects, and solid scientific principles. Here’s the proof.

I have to admit, I’m not feeling all that funny these last few days. Hell, I’m not feeling all that amused in general. Which is odd for me. I always try to find the humor in everything. The worse it is, the harder I look for that one flash of humor, like a match flaring in the darkness. The world is a lot less intimidating when you can find the ridiculous in it.

I wonder if that’s why I enjoy fantasy so much, the escapism of it. The sense that no matter how bad it gets, and even when it ends tragically, there is still a sense of order, a sense of logic. Something sorely lacking in the “real” world.

In good fiction things make sense, rules are followed, characters introduced are rarely left behind, death–while tragic–makes sense. In books people get to say their good byes, love seems less complex, feelings more easily expressed. By the time you reach the end of a good book, no matter how sad it was, you get the sense of completion, the sense that everything will eventually be okay for the characters you’ve come to love. That’s not so in life. Not as much as I would like at any rate.

Fairness, rightness, poetic justice those are the things the world could use more of. But that is not the way this world we live in works. Good people die for no reason, love is unrequited, noble thoughts and deeds are punished as often as honored. No, this world is nothing like the fantasy found in books.

Is that bad or good? Is it more important that we take the journey then worry about the destination? If our world did make sense, would we grow, would we strive to be better people? Would evolution have taken us beyond single celled organisms if that much logic was applied to the world? Is it our ability to recognize all the injustices and unfairness inherent in our lives that has brought us to the state we are now? Beautifully, and tragically, flawed, a study in contrasts, capable of great kindness and utter brutality sometimes within the space of one breath.

I wish I knew the answers. I wish I knew the questions for that matter. The ones to ask to understand it all, to put it all into perspective. But I suppose if I all ready knew these things, I wouldn’t bother learning anything else. I wouldn’t strive, or yearn, or hope, or even despair. And that’s what makes me what I am, the search, the faith–misplaced or not–that there is some purpose so grand in scale my tiny little brain will never comprehend it, but to stop is to resign myself to a state of living death. A life of going through the motions and finding nothing of satisfaction. Who could live like that? Not me.

So, I suppose I keep looking for the ridiculous, the humor, the glorious insanity of life, and take from it what I can. Now you have to ask yourself, are you doing the same? Are you living, or did you die ages ago? Dear reader, I hope you’re alive, and if not doing well, at least striving…yearning, hoping, and most importantly laughing.

Now, I promise to resume forcing my opinions on you and lay off of the philosophy books in the future. Thank you for your patience.

Well, it’s been awhile, but we’re back in full swing. Not that the hundreds of thousands of people not reading this blog care. But eventually someone might stumble across the gap in our posting, and I felt that maybe I should explain myself.

I was fracking busy.

There you go, explanation given. Now, onto more important things.

I just returned a few days ago from my very first Sci-fi convention. It was called Starfest, in Denver CO, and is (according to the people I went with) one of the few fan run conventions still going.

It was small, but since it was my first I didn’t mind that, and the people I went with made it a blast. But there are certain things I’ve discovered about fans, and fandom, from my little trip.

• We have an awesome sense of humor. We’re just plain funny, at least to each other. And as long as we amuse ourselves, who cares.
• There’s something very surreal about discussing politics with a man dressed as a Klingon. At least it was to me. Mostly because we weren’t discussing politics with a Bat’leth, and no one walked away bloody. Needless to say; I was a bit disappointed.
• Lenord Nimoy can still pack a room.
• The Klingon Juice they were handing out at the hotel bar was in fact a Long Island Ice Tea with some blue crap thrown in there. The Long Island Ice Tea may not sound as manly, but it still packs a whollop no matter what you call it.
• There is nothing more enlightening then taking a smoke break (outside of course cause the entire city of Denver sees smokers as a short step above heroin addicts) at three in the morning, during a convention. The freaks truly do come out at night. And it’s nice that you always know where to find them when you’re in the mood for some.
• When trapped with people inside an elevator at one of these things you never have to worry about those awkward moments. We all know we have something in common, we share a common language. Chances are if I bring up Trek, George Lucas, Firefly, or BSG someone in the elevator is going to be able to carry on at least an hour long conversation with me. This totally negates the need for small talk, thank God. I despise small talk and am completely incapable of it. This alone is reason enough to go to a convention.
• Geeks trying to score with the opposite sex is not only amusing, it’s kind of endearing in that really cheesy way.
• And finally, I realized not only can I not dance, even the Time Warp is completely beyond my abilities because I apparently can not tell my left from my right when forced to do so to music.

Every morning I try to drag my carcass out of bed at around 5:30am so I can have a solid hour of writing before it’s time for the kids to get up for school. Try is, of course, the operative word here. The last few weeks I can’t say I’ve been all that successful at either getting up or getting any writing done.

I’ve come to a few conclusions about what I need to be productive during writing time, just a few small demands it wouldn’t kill the universe to grant me.

First off I need to be left utterly and completaly alone with no distractions by either my beautiful children or my wonderful husband, or for that matter no TV, no phones, no Internet, no e-mail, no Jehovia’s Witnesses trying to save me from utter damnation (too late), no music, no background ambient noise…basically I need to write in a vacuum. Well a vacuum with plenty of oxygen and a comfortable chair. (Read more…)

It’s time for our first segment of Misadventures on the web. Basically the product of my complete and utter boredom and my struggle against the forces that push me to do something “good” or “helpful” to improve the human condition. Instead, I give you this. Useless websites that are nonetheless entertaining. At least to me. And I am easily amused.

First off today; inspirational Trek posters. If you don’t see the humor in some of these, you’re dead.

And who’s life would be complete without a list of the top 100 Sci-fi movies . I disagree with more then a few of these but it gave me something to occupy my brain with for a few minutes. At least until I saw something shiny.

This next one is truly useless, but it made me smile and really needs no introduction.

And finally, sex in space anyone ? Yeah, that woke some of you up from your stupor.

One of the things I plan to do when writing on this blog is to take everything that’s been cluttering up my brain and place it here, on these pages. This is one of those things that has my brain cluttered. Don’t be fooled though, even though it’s clutter, it is still extremely interesting and worthwhile. I am now about to clean it out and hope it doesn’t leave a stain.

So here goes: no matter what it is, no matter what you’re talking about, you can always make it sound cool if you add the following to the end: …of death, or …of doom.

Let’s try it, shall we?

• The station wagon. The station wagon OF DEATH.
• The banana peel. The banana peel OF DOOM.
• The monkey. The monkey OF DEATH. The monkey OF DOOM is also nice.
• The Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny OF DEATH.

See how much cooler all those things sounded when you added those words? Another handy trick I like to use is to preface everything with the word EVIL.

The EVIL station wagon OF DEATH sounds even better, don’t you think? I also like the evil Easter Bunny of Death. That’s my kind of Easter Bunny.

What does this have to do with scifi? Well, you just try to write a story without an evil Easter Bunny in it and see how far that gets you. Even the best scifi on TV, Battlestar Galactica has an evil Easter Bunny of death.

SPOILER:
Not only is Baltar NOT a cylon, but a mysterious Easter basket full of brightly colored eggs will be discovered in his quarters later this season. You heard it here first people. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.